Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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