your thong is hanging out like whoa
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize