I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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