8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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