I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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