I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
