I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I think my vagina is haunted
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
