Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
