Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
They are going to name an STD after you.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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