someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
