Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
