He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize