you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
