Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
