I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
