Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
