the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize