Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
