kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
last night I used snow as a chaser
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
