please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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