I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
