I feel like I'm in dance class right now
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
