i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
