In the future we'll all be gay
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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