he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize