suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
