I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Randomize
