At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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