; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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