i think i have two assholes
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
