I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
it was like his penis was on wheels.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize