Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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