Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
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