bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
