I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
