His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
