i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
