dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
