so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
