Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
