I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
