one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
