pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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