She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
