Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
