i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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