Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
i out mim tonsoeep
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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