So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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