May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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