I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
