? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize