So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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