More tranny stories later!
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
