you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
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