OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize