i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
