imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
