do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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