btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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