Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
