where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
