I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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