if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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