When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
