my soul wont recognize me after tonight
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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