lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
the liver wants what the liver wants
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize