Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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