He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
