I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
