been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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