just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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