just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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