So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
